“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.”
“He who sees little, always sees less; he who hears poorly, always hears something more.”
– Nietzsche, Man Alone With Himself
“Strong currents draw many stones and bushes along with them; strong minds many stupid and muddled heads.”
– Nietzsche, Man Alone With Himself
When my closest girlfriend and soul sister asked me to say something at her wedding I was instantly nervous. I am a crier. I cried when I got up that morning, I cried when she got her make-up done, I cried when I saw her in the dress, I cried (and made other people cry) in the church, I cried right through all the speeches (but hey, so did the groom! They are two very loved people, the speeches reflected this.) and I cried every time she looked at me. There are no photos of me giving my speech, I cringe when I think of the video, I sobbed. I did not speak, I sniffed and snorted and squealed. It took me days to write the speech and I toiled, and teared and borrowed and stole here and there until I got exactly what I felt written down. This was what I meant to say:
Today you create something beautiful and from here you can go anywhere. You begin your journey together serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered by old nonsense. Some blunders and absurdities will creep in but try your best to forget them as soon as you can. I am not young enough to know everything nor am I old enough to speak from wisdom, I do however know this for sure:
Always speak the truth, even if your voice shakes. Grow your roots toward each other underground so that when all the pretty blossoms fall; you will find that you are one tree and not two. Be to each other what pajamas are to the soul.
From Jaco I ask: Be mindful with my best friend’s heart; Find the anecdote to your anger hidden in her laughter; Smile when she makes you happy, and let her know you miss her when she’s not there; Recognize her glowing spirit and preserve it as best you can.
To my dearest friend: I am so proud of you. Not so long ago we were still giggling girls in math class, being scolded for our day dreams. Now I witness you making from the lumber of your life; not a tavern but a temple. Looking at you now, your beauty astounds me. You are going to bless your family with this beauty you walk in everyday.
You are an inspiration, I am honored to stand by your side.
They are such beautiful people and I feel so blessed to call them friends. Your day was breath taking and I can’t wait to post some baby pictures!
Yesterday I shared some photos of my dearest friend just before her wedding. Today’s photos show the ceremony and the reception. We took a moment before where we spent some time with Mariska and when the cameras left we shared the quietest moment of the day.
The groom and his best men shared the same moment on the other side of the premises.
I’m a real daddy’s girl so this photo is one of my favorites, just before she enters the church with her father.
The couple tears up at the aisle. *sniffles*
I look so somber in all the photos, because I’m trying not to cry out loud!
They walked out of the church to a rain of feathers as Mr and Mrs Bakkers.
The entire wedding party after the ceremony.
The reception was beautiful, and the food even better! Their caked looked so pretty!
My date looked as handsome as ever and I really regret not taking more photos of the two of us that night. (We’re the gorgeous couple on your right.)
After the formal reception, there was a debaucherous after party, but by this time the photographer had retired for the night. (Thank goodness!) We all went to breakfast a little grayer the next day, but still loud with residual excitement from the day before. It was a truly magical weekend, I felt completely removed from reality, and on the way home I found myself singing loudly along with every soppy romantic ballad. It was a complete experience, and I would like to thank both Jaco and Mariska for sharing their day and their love with me. You two are the healthiest, happiest people I know, there is nothing you could not make a shining success of, and I am sure your marriage will be no different.
Tomorrow I will be posting the speech I tried to say at the wedding…
“Power properly understood is nothing but the ability to achieve purpose. And one of the great problems of history is that the concepts of love and power have usually been contrasted as opposites – polar opposites – so that love is identified with a resignation of power, and power with a denial of love. We’ve got to get this thing right. What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love. It is precisely this collision of immoral power with powerless morality which constitutes the major crisis of our time.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.